My wife gave me a copy last week of Lesley M. M. Blume’s book, Let’s Bring Back The Lost Language Edition.

I had never heard of it, to my sorrow.

The tome  is a collection of old terms, many of which have fallen through the cracks of the ever-changing thing known as the English language.

According to Blume, “ear-wigging” meant a scolding or harangue, while some people insist that the only true earwigging was made in private. At that point in the discussion, Blume directs the reader to the entry “batty-fanging.”

Batty-fanging is the more direct approach, which lurks  not in the privacy of one’s ear-wigging chambers. Batty-fanging, rather, means “a thorough beating,” and is a term Blume says we must revive immediately.

How about a lip-clap?

The term was sixteenth-century slang for “a kiss.” A variation was “lip-favour,” which coupling when referred to as an act was “lip-labour.”

Such sublime interactions, however, remind us that many “wear the willow,” i.e., have been abandoned by the one they love.

Is your book wee-jee?

You should hope so because if so it is top notch.

Need a coiffure?  Try a “hair-butcher.”

When you read a long passage do you become kicksy-wicksy?  That means you are restless, but if you only become kicksy, you’re just plain disagreeable.

And who wants to listen to a clack-box? That’s almost as bad as getting trapped with a hunt-about.

By the way, a twit is a twerp, if you didn’t know.

I think all these are tzing-tzing.

Don’t you?