Top twenty questions that define real writers

Twenty questions

 

Everybody wants to be an author, right?

If you are wondering if you have the “write” stuff,  please take the following quiz. (Hint: nineteen yes answers are necessary.  I say nineteen because numbers 4 and 5 are mutually exclusive.)

1. When you leave the dentist’s office do you go straight to your computer and write a blog about the pain inherent in the human condition?

2.  Do you dumpster dive for snacks?

3.  Did you fail senior English in high school?

4.  Did you make an A in senior English in high school?

5.  Did you give all your children the initials KDP?

6.  Do the novels of Jonathan Franzen tickle you?

7.  Are you still searching for something funny in A Confederacy of Dunces?

8.  Do you watch re-runs of Antiques Road Show and Book TV?

9.  When you meditate do you imagine yourself as  Hugh Howey?

10.   Do you consider Sophie’s Choice a nice romance novel?

11.   Do you refuse to download free eBooks, preferring to steal paper books from members of your critique group?

12.  Is rejection your favorite emotion?

13.  Did your spend your last dime on BookBub?

14.  Can you pick Ray Bradbury out of a photo lineup?

15.  Do you know how to make a fake book award sticker for the cover of your book?

16.  Do you believe every author who claims to have written a bestseller?

17.  Have you ever plagiarized yourself?

18.  Do your friends and family think you’re crazy?

19.  Do you use commas wherever the hell you want to in a, sentence?

20.  Have you started placing a semi-colon between your first and last names?

Sincerely yours,

Stephen;Woodfin

 

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