Maybe I’m marked for a cozy murder.
April 28, 2015
Caleb Pirtle III
MY WIFE WRITES cozy mysteries.
I don’t know how cozy they really are.
Her first one was titled The Mah Jongg Murders.
Her heroine was a retired former English teacher, Lillian, who was a busy body that meddled in everybody’s business with dogged determination until she solved the crime.
She sounded a lot like Linda.
The heroine’s sidekick was her husband, Bill, a former investigative reporter for a newspaper.
He was nice.
He was kind.
He was gentle.
He sounded a lot like me.
I broke a few stories for newspapers back in another lifetime.
It seemed to me that Linda’s primary characters were autobiographical.
No research required.
She knew a lot about teaching English.
She knew I knew a lot about reporting.
Got a question?
I got an answer.
Linda was writing merrily along on her second novel.
Again, it’s a cozy mystery.
Again, it’s based on a game.
She’s calling it Deadly Dominoes.
Or maybe Death by Dominoes.
She hasn’t decided yet.
Linda shut down her computer recently, sat back, and looked at me for a long time.
“I’ve made a decision,” she said.
“I’m going to kill off Bill,” she said.
“He keeps getting in the way.”
I have a vested interest in Bill.
I think he’s me.
“Why don’t you just send him on a vacation,” I said.
She had that look on her face when a decision is final.
“I’d rather kill him off,” she said.
“How are you going to do that?” I asked.
She wasn’t smiling at me.
“I think I’ll poison him,” She said.
I’m taking no chances.
I’ve been eating out a lot more than I used to.