Does worrying really help? The Authors Collection
November 29, 2015
HAVE YOU EVER WORRIED about something? I’m kidding, I know we have all worried.
The question is, does it do any good to worry? And if not, how do we stop doing it?
In the movie The Bridge of Spies, during very tense moments, the American lawyer, played by Tom Hanks, asks the alleged spy he was defending if he was worried. It was a perfectly reasonable question since the outcome to his situation appeared so dismal.
His answer was always, “Will it help?”
In spite of the situation he trusted.
To not worry we have to trust that there is going to be an outcome that will work in our favor, and for the benefit of all involved.
Recently I found myself worrying.
We have been looking at houses to buy, and found one that might work. So I started planning what we would need to do in order for the process to flow smoothly.
But, there is only so much that I can do. Most of it is out of my control. I can’t design how it is going to happen, or even know if it is going to happen.
In the midst of this big moment of worry I heard this idea, “You are not the designer of the process.”
This got my attention because it was accompanied by a memory of a Thanksgiving long ago.
I was looking forward to designing the look of the house and the dinner; from the setting of the table to the welcoming decorations.
And then something happened. My youngest daughter asked to design the house and the table.
At first I resisted. It was my thing. But, then I realized it was not just her thing — it was who she is and what she would come up with would be much better than I could put together.
I needed to let go, and trust.
She did a beautiful job, and from that day on she was in charge of the decoration of our events.
She has gone on to spend her days designing beautiful gardens, homes, paintings, and jewelry.
It’s who she is. It’s what she does.
It’s what the infinite intelligent Mind of the universe does too. It designs.
It designs much better than you or me. It designs all events, from the breath of the tiniest organism to the path of the furthest star.
Although I don’t know what the outcome of the house hunting will be, I do know that it will be better then I could ever make happen myself.
If I want to enjoy the process it would be best to be the instrument of the Master Designer and not attempt to control what is not controllable.
Although never directly answered in the movie, the answer to the question, “Will it help” is no, it won’t.
But, what does help is to be prepared. We can think through what might be needed and be ready to provide it.
We can trust that we are the instrument, the expression of the infinite good, called by many names, but is the One and only power.
Trust is not a passive activity. It is not apathetic. Apathy is the opposite of trust.
Apathetic thoughts may sound like this: “Since nothing will ever work out, why do it? Since I can’t control it, I am not participating.”
Apathy is never good. Apathy is selfish. Apathy is ego based. Apathy leaves our mental, emotional, and physical doors open to unwanted guests of all kinds.
When my daughter took over designing Thanksgiving I didn’t just sit there, I participated. I helped. I celebrated and shared it. I followed her directions.
We need to root out and dissolve any evidence of apathy in our lives. We need to move into the trust that the design of Life is beautiful and intelligent and always based in good.
We need to celebrate and share it. We need to follow the Master Designer’s direction.
If we mess things up, or when things don’t work well, we trust that there is always a solution. We know that the Master Designer is always designing the perfect outcome for everyone.
And because of this we can discard worry and move to gratitude.
Really, it’s that simple. It’s only a mind set, a perception that makes it hard.
What me worry? Well yes, sometimes I do. But, at least I know how to stop it. I can move to gratitude, and so can you.
Beca Lewis is the author of Living in Grace. It’s a good book to read whenever you’re worried.