Conversations with my dog, Caddo







When I posted a blog a few days ago about Caddo, my Chesapeake Bay, I received some comments that made me realize I had not gone far enough in explaining my relationship with him.

To remedy those shortcomings, I brought Caddo in for a brief interview on several key topics.

Here’s how it went.

Woodfin:  Recently when Evangeline (my daughter) moved back home, she brought her weenie dog, Marley, and her Irish Retriever, Chief, with her.  How did that make you feel?

Caddo:  I hate their guts.

Woodfin: Why?

Caddo:  (He looks at me and rolls his eyes.)

Woodfin:  You have put up with our Great Dane, Joaquin, for six years.  Tell us about that.

Caddo:  I hate his guts.  Think of the Arab-Israeli conflict.

Woodfin:  What has Joaquin done to make you feel that way?


Caddo:  He tried to kill me.

Woodfin:  Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

Caddo:  I haven’t forgotten.  Next year in Jerusalem.

Woodfin:  What do you want for Christmas this year?

Caddo:  The death of the other dogs in the house.

Woodfin:  I notice that you still bark at all the kids who come to the house to visit.  How long does it take you to accept them as persons who do not represent a threat?

Caddo:  In dog years or human years?

Woodfin:  Suit yourself.

Caddo:  I won’t live that long.

Woodfin:  You have held our two cats prisoners in the garage for most of the last decade. Don’t you think it is time you give them a break?

Caddo:  (He licks his lips.)

Woodfin:  Presidential politics are hot right now.  Do you have an opinion on the presidential race?

Caddo:  I’m for OcaddoCare.

Woodfin:  What about the Tea Party?

Caddo:  They can come to the house and drink tea if they bring a fetch toy that floats in the pool.

Woodfin:  Do you have a favorite TV show?

Caddo:  Pawn Stars.

Woodfin:  Why do you like that show?

Caddo:  It is a classic expression of the difference between dogs and people.

Woodfin:  What do you mean?

Caddo:  No dog is that stupid, except maybe Joaquin.

Woodfin:  Do you have a favorite movie?

Caddo:  Anything with popcorn.

At this point, Caddo tired of the interview, bristled at Joaquin and walked away. If you haven’t interviewed your dog recently, you might give it a try.

Before they get too old.

Those dog years are hell.


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