Cats: The Best Argument against Evolution, by Canine Professor Emeritus, Caddo Woodfin


Canine Professor Emeritus Caddo Woodfin


Earlier this  morning, I noticed my Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Caddo, surfing the web.  He had a look of consternation on his face. We then shared this colloquy.

Woodfin:   What’s up, old boy?

Caddo:  Research.

Woodfin:  About what?

Caddo:  Darwin’s theory of evolution.  (He entered a few search terms on Google, clicked on a Wikipedia article, closed it and moved to the next one.)

Woodfin:  What have you learned?

Caddo:  (He pointed his paw at the screen on which was displayed a recent Caleb and Linda Pirtle attack blog by two cats.  He was the subject of the attack.)

Woodfin:  So?

Caddo:  Darwin is full of it.  If evolution was true, cats would have died off millions of years ago.

Woodfin:  Most people who say evolution isn’t true do so because of a religious belief known as creationism.  So, wouldn’t that mean that you believe God created cats?

Caddo:  They were a rough draft.  Even God has to work out the details sometimes.  Kind of like you in that serial you’re writing.

Woodfin: (I lick my wounds before asking the next question.)  A rough draft for what?

Caddo:  Morons. Why else would they use pseudonyms like Sabra and Sam?

Woodfin:  I think those are their real names.

Caddo:  More likely their real names are Puke and Simbo.

Woodfin:  I see in the blog that they accused you of something akin to political negative campaigning because of some of your earlier remarks about felines.

Caddo:  The truth is a defense.

Woodfin:  I have known you all your life and didn’t realize you were a professor emeritus.  What institution of higher education bestowed that honor on you.

Caddo:  (He craned his neck so I could look at his collar.  There was a faded pendant hanging next to his dog tag.  I couldn’t make out the name of the college, but it showed an address in the Catskills.)

(Stephen Woodfin’s rough draft serial fiction of The Lazarus Deception runs twice a week on Caleb and Linda Pirtle.)

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