Cats: The Best Argument against Evolution, by Canine Professor Emeritus, Caddo Woodfin
October 27, 2012
Earlier this morning, I noticed my Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Caddo, surfing the web. He had a look of consternation on his face. We then shared this colloquy.
Woodfin: What’s up, old boy?
Woodfin: About what?
Caddo: Darwin’s theory of evolution. (He entered a few search terms on Google, clicked on a Wikipedia article, closed it and moved to the next one.)
Woodfin: What have you learned?
Caddo: (He pointed his paw at the screen on which was displayed a recent Caleb and Linda Pirtle attack blog by two cats. He was the subject of the attack.)
Caddo: Darwin is full of it. If evolution was true, cats would have died off millions of years ago.
Woodfin: Most people who say evolution isn’t true do so because of a religious belief known as creationism. So, wouldn’t that mean that you believe God created cats?
Caddo: They were a rough draft. Even God has to work out the details sometimes. Kind of like you in that serial you’re writing.
Woodfin: (I lick my wounds before asking the next question.) A rough draft for what?
Caddo: Morons. Why else would they use pseudonyms like Sabra and Sam?
Woodfin: I think those are their real names.
Caddo: More likely their real names are Puke and Simbo.
Woodfin: I see in the blog that they accused you of something akin to political negative campaigning because of some of your earlier remarks about felines.
Caddo: The truth is a defense.
Woodfin: I have known you all your life and didn’t realize you were a professor emeritus. What institution of higher education bestowed that honor on you.
Caddo: (He craned his neck so I could look at his collar. There was a faded pendant hanging next to his dog tag. I couldn’t make out the name of the college, but it showed an address in the Catskills.)
(Stephen Woodfin’s rough draft serial fiction of The Lazarus Deception runs twice a week on Caleb and Linda Pirtle.)