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Zoey sets out to solve the mystery of the man who was signed to death and gets accidentally kidnapped in a wardrobe.

“Look out!” Maj yelled as the huge orange gulf gasoline sign with blue letters lumbered toward me down the slopped driveway. The warning came too late. The metal frame hit me. My feet came off the ground. I fell. So did the dead guy inside the sign.

A murder mystery falling at her feet is just the first shock to electrify antique shop owner Zoey Thunderbird.
Zoey is seriously DWM—Done With Men—but her heart forgets at every mention of junk sculptor Dave Durham. When a claspy-grabby stranger comes to town with outrageous stories and “flutterings” for Dave, Zoey’s best friend and sole employee at Treasure Trove takes the stranger’s side.

Zoey sets out to solve the mystery of the man who was signed to death and gets accidentally kidnapped in a wardrobe. Instead of rescuing her, police officers arrest her. She is unknowingly standing on a fortune’s worth of cocaine hidden in the bottom of the wardrobe.

Her release from jail sends her into greater dangers—gunfire shattering windows and a puppet she was holding; a past suitor vandalizing her house; a vehicle ramming into the back of her house; and a rescue mission for claspy-grabby stranger Bergin, who has disappeared.

Things can’t get worse—but they do. When she is chased into a funeral home by the two drug dealers who unwittingly transported her across state lines in the wardrobe, she hides in the only available space—and is accused of doing unspeakable things to a corpse.

Bergin Clasper’s lies finally catch up with her. Meanwhile, Dave Durham’s declaration of love catches up with Zoey. Zoey now faces tough questions about love and loyalty—and how far to go for someone she really does not like.

Meet Stephanie Parker McKean:

Writing is not something that I have ever possessed; it is something that has possessed me.

As a five-year-old I lived for show-and-tell days at school when students brought things to class and talked about them. I never had anything to bring—but I always had something to tell!

Me: A camel followed me to school. I tried to ride it, but it had slippery hair and I fell off.

Me: I didn’t forget my lunch. There was a lion in the street. He roared at me because he was hungry. I wasn’t afraid. I gave him my sandwich.

A parent-teacher conference ended my first grade story-telling career. I was instructed to quit telling lies.

When I was in the fifth grade, my father got an advance on his first book and came home with a pony in the back of our station wagon.

Me: Dad, what’s your book about?

Him: A boat-going detective who makes a lot of money.

Me: Is it true?

Him: No, it’s fiction.

That settled it. If a person could get paid for telling lies—that was my career.

I received my first rejection slip before I graduated from high school. Other rejection slips followed, along with a few checks.

But no matter how many rejection slips, (I have 150 in my file) I kept writing, because like Jeremiah 20:9, His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back and I could not.

And…I just published book number 30.

Review by The Roving Reader:

Stephanie Parker McKean never fails to supply the reader with amusing situations and funny lines.

Signed to Death begins with Zoey Thunderbird, owner and operator of the Treasure Trove, out buying for her antique shop. As she begins loading a lighted, boxed sign, a dead body falls out of it onto the driveway.

Things become even more complicated when Zoey meets Bergin Clasper, who claims to be a famous mystery writer. Bergin tells outrageous stories that Zoey believes to be lies—one of them being that her husband is a hit man who is trying to murder her.

Maj, Zoey’s employee, believes everything Bergin Clasper says and encourages her to help them at the store. Zoey is opposed to this, particularly because Bergin is trying to gain the attention of the man Zoey has fallen in love with, Dave Durham.

I enjoyed this novel, one filled with action and laughs

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